1. Arrival, hora peruana. If the lunch is scheduled to start at 1:00, no one will arrive at 1:00. Parties, more so than any other type of Peruvian gathering, operate on hora peruana, which means that arriving half an hour late puts you seriously on the early side - go do another six laps around the plaza and come back, then maybe you won't be the only one there.
2. Await the arrival of all the guests. This is inevitably done while sitting in an awkward circle of chairs around the very edge of the living room, while music plays on a stereo and people talk in quiet voices amongst themselves. The concept of mingling is unheard of - the only time you move from your chair is to stand up and greet each additional guest that arrives, since they go around the room's circle saludar-ing each and every person, even if they don't know each other.
3. Once everyone important has arrived, you can start whatever the party's main activity is. In this case, we could all finally sit down at the lunch table. Do not make the mistake of thinking that lunch will actually be served at this point - the process has only just begun.
4. Before any food or drink can be served, the host has to "give words" (dar palabras). Basically, they make a speech welcoming everyone to the event, specifically naming and thanking all the various groups or important individuals who are present for coming, and talking at length about how pleased they are about the event/how important the event is/why it's important/etc. If there is more than one host, it is likely that each will give some palabras of their own - these palabras will not be in any way different from those of the other hosts, but it is important in social custom that every person of significance give their own palabras. Sometimes guests will also feel the need to dar some palabras... you can see how these welcome speeches can easily turn into a very long affair.
5. Once sufficient words have been given, it's time for the toast. You'd think that the toast and the palabras could be combined, but at a Peruvian party they are two totally distinct, not-to-be-confused parts of the agenda. A beverage will be served in miniature cups to each guest - the drink of choice could be pisco sours, soda, beer, or, in this case, Peruvian wine (sweet and dessert-like). Then the designated toaster will give their toast - to the undiscerning gringo eye, the toast will be very similar to the palabras that have already been given, but the fact that it is in the form of a toast makes it totally different in Peruvian eyes.
6. At last, the food can be served! But don't even think about getting up to serve yourself. Even if there is a display of food arranged on a buffet table, the guests never serve themselves (even if it's an eight year-old's birthday party where the food table is filled with grab-worthy snacks). The host will make up a plate for you and bring it to you.
7. At a Peruvian luncheon, there are a minimum of three courses. First is the appetizer. Most commonly it is some sort of soup, but there are other possibilities as well. For example, at this week's party we had jamón serrano (mountain ham) served over a "salad" of onions and yuca. The appetizer is typically the size of a meal in itself, so if you are a gringa who cannot eat two large, meat-filled meals in one sitting, it's prudent to limit yourself accordingly, if you can get away with it. Peruvian guests will, as is polite, finish everything on their plates, but a gringa with a clever excuse (or a hungry host dad sitting next to her) can sometimes get out of eating every last bite.
8. The next course is the segundo (main dish). On special occasions, it is likely to be stewed or fried cuy - paw and all! While I could do without the still-attached claws, I actually quite enjoy the taste of cuy. Plus, Peruvians get a huge kick out of the fact that the gringa likes their traditional dish, and eating it happily always wins me some brownie points. Anyway, whatever the meat of the segundo happens to be, it will definitely be served with a plentiful helping of rice and potatoes. Again, decorum says you should finish everything on your plate - good luck.
9. Dessert. Peruvian desserts are pretty hit-or-miss: there are winners like arroz con leche, and there are others that I avoid like the plague, like mazamorra, a jello-like substance made from purple corn and eight million pounds of sugar. It's luck of the draw, but again, you must eat whatever you are served.
And that's about it! For other, non-luncheon Peruvian parties, there's sure to be dancing involved at some point. If it's someone's birthday, their face will inevitably be pushed into the cake when they go to blow out the candles - everyone knows it's coming, but no one ever gets out of it. Peruvian fiestas definitely have their oddities, but you learn to just embrace the awkwardness and have a good time.
3. Once everyone important has arrived, you can start whatever the party's main activity is. In this case, we could all finally sit down at the lunch table. Do not make the mistake of thinking that lunch will actually be served at this point - the process has only just begun.
4. Before any food or drink can be served, the host has to "give words" (dar palabras). Basically, they make a speech welcoming everyone to the event, specifically naming and thanking all the various groups or important individuals who are present for coming, and talking at length about how pleased they are about the event/how important the event is/why it's important/etc. If there is more than one host, it is likely that each will give some palabras of their own - these palabras will not be in any way different from those of the other hosts, but it is important in social custom that every person of significance give their own palabras. Sometimes guests will also feel the need to dar some palabras... you can see how these welcome speeches can easily turn into a very long affair.
 |
| My host mom, Lourdes, making her speech |
5. Once sufficient words have been given, it's time for the toast. You'd think that the toast and the palabras could be combined, but at a Peruvian party they are two totally distinct, not-to-be-confused parts of the agenda. A beverage will be served in miniature cups to each guest - the drink of choice could be pisco sours, soda, beer, or, in this case, Peruvian wine (sweet and dessert-like). Then the designated toaster will give their toast - to the undiscerning gringo eye, the toast will be very similar to the palabras that have already been given, but the fact that it is in the form of a toast makes it totally different in Peruvian eyes.
 |
| Enraptured listeners enjoy the toast |
6. At last, the food can be served! But don't even think about getting up to serve yourself. Even if there is a display of food arranged on a buffet table, the guests never serve themselves (even if it's an eight year-old's birthday party where the food table is filled with grab-worthy snacks). The host will make up a plate for you and bring it to you.
7. At a Peruvian luncheon, there are a minimum of three courses. First is the appetizer. Most commonly it is some sort of soup, but there are other possibilities as well. For example, at this week's party we had jamón serrano (mountain ham) served over a "salad" of onions and yuca. The appetizer is typically the size of a meal in itself, so if you are a gringa who cannot eat two large, meat-filled meals in one sitting, it's prudent to limit yourself accordingly, if you can get away with it. Peruvian guests will, as is polite, finish everything on their plates, but a gringa with a clever excuse (or a hungry host dad sitting next to her) can sometimes get out of eating every last bite.
 |
| Delicious jamón serrano |
8. The next course is the segundo (main dish). On special occasions, it is likely to be stewed or fried cuy - paw and all! While I could do without the still-attached claws, I actually quite enjoy the taste of cuy. Plus, Peruvians get a huge kick out of the fact that the gringa likes their traditional dish, and eating it happily always wins me some brownie points. Anyway, whatever the meat of the segundo happens to be, it will definitely be served with a plentiful helping of rice and potatoes. Again, decorum says you should finish everything on your plate - good luck.
 |
| Cuy stew over rice and potatoes |
9. Dessert. Peruvian desserts are pretty hit-or-miss: there are winners like arroz con leche, and there are others that I avoid like the plague, like mazamorra, a jello-like substance made from purple corn and eight million pounds of sugar. It's luck of the draw, but again, you must eat whatever you are served.
And that's about it! For other, non-luncheon Peruvian parties, there's sure to be dancing involved at some point. If it's someone's birthday, their face will inevitably be pushed into the cake when they go to blow out the candles - everyone knows it's coming, but no one ever gets out of it. Peruvian fiestas definitely have their oddities, but you learn to just embrace the awkwardness and have a good time.
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