Telling it like it is

In Peru, as in many other Latin American cultures, talking about a person's physical appearance does not carry the same social taboo as it does in the States. For example, you can straight-up tell someone, "you look like you've gained some weight," and they will not think you in the least bit rude. This particular comment is actually one of Peace Corps' Peruvian host moms' favorite compliments to give volunteers - according to our mamás, we all arrive in Peru waaaay too skinny, so if they can get us to eat enough of their delicious cooking to put on a few pounds, it's a great success.

I'm not sure of the roots of this cultural difference, but it's extremely marked: if you told your average American 20-something girl that she's looking a little chubbier, you'd likely be met with a horrified face of gaping disbelief (that you actually just said that), and a highly awkward situation as she either blushes, cries, or stammers in search of what she can possibly say in response.

From what I've experienced, the two most salient characteristics that we as Americans skirt around while Peruvians dive right in are weight and race. Describing someone as "el gordito" (the fat one) is totally okay; a person's weight is seen as a basic fact of their physical appearance, so why avoid it? The same goes for "el negro," "la gringa," and other racially-based descriptors. Everyone in town describes me as la gringuita, because that is the easiest and most obvious way to refer to me - I am white, and everyone else is Peruvian. But I'm not the only gringa in Cajabamba: our town's biggest bakery is called Panadería Las Gringas, because the three sisters who own it are lighter-skinned than most cajabambinos. Peruvians have no qualms about talking about a person's skin color or racial background: "the Chinese-looking one," "the darker-skinned one," etc. In contrast, the U.S.'s racially charged history has left race as a more socially sensitive topic.

I don't think that one way or the other - the straight-talking Peruvian or the tactful American - is better in its own right; each fits perfectly in its own cultural context. Rather, it fascinates me how un-transferrable these behavior norms are: you couldn't act like a weight-indifferent Peruvian and win many friends in American social circles, and Peruvians would think it strange how the gringa tried to avoid talking about her friend's skinniness. Each particular society has its norms for what's acceptable, but we often don't recognize how non-universal those rules are until we're exposed to another way of doing things.