How to say goodbye

Two years ago, when I left for Peace Corps, I said a lot of goodbyes. It wasn't fun; leaving loved ones is always hard. But now, as I start to say my goodbyes here in Cajabamba, I'm realizing that those 2012 farewells were comparatively easy. Although I was leaving home for a long journey, I knew exactly when I'd see those people again. I also knew that I'd be able to talk to them somewhat regularly via skype or email. Being able to say "talk to you soon" or "see you later" makes a goodbye much less daunting. 

This time around, I can't say those comforting words - I have no idea when I'll next see these friends, and I know we won't be talking on the phone. The finality of these goodbyes gives them a weight that discomforts me. The reality of the situation dictates that I should be saying "goodbye" instead of "see you later," but the word doesn't match my heart's hope that I will somehow see these friends again, so I can't bring myself to say it. Each conversation is a struggle to put too many emotions into unwieldy words: "thank you," "I'll miss you," "I wish you the best," and so much more. 

Goodbye lunch with one of my community bank groups: Doña Teo, Vero, Jovita, Zoila, Doña Carmen, Nely, Zonia, and Rosa